![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.creativecircle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/twitter-quote-300x173.png\")
<\/p>\nI\u2019m going to be honest here. I\u2019ve written a few versions of this because it\u2019s hard to know who I\u2019m writing for. We\u2019re all having such similar and yet such varied experiences throughout this pandemic. Throughout these global cries for justice, as we watch the wealth gap widen and the dreams we were promised if we worked hard enough crumble. While we watch innocent Black folks killed by police officers again and again. My intention here is to offer some tools for mental and emotional resilience no matter your circumstances, which can be a struggle financially, mentally, emotionally, physically, or a combination or all of the above. I hope you are getting your basic needs met. I hope you are finding joy.<\/p>\n
For those of us who still have a roof over our heads and some sort of income, we may be reciting the same phrase. Something along the lines of, \u201cI\u2019m doing well, honestly, I feel really lucky all things considered.\u201d Maybe we even mean it. But there is something about this \u201cstuckness.\u201d Something about how this feels like everything is happening and yet parts of life feel like they\u2019re on hold, unless we consciously find creative ways to move around those barriers. Maybe that\u2019s the kind of creativity we need right now.<\/p>\n
Whatever your current struggle, you are not alone. Maybe you\u2019re physically exhausted. Maybe the emotional toll of risk management is spiking your anxiety. Maybe the most recent tragedy in Kenosha, on top of so many others, is driving you deeper into despair. Maybe you are burning out on activism. Maybe you feel helpless and the stress of it is making everything worse. Maybe you\u2019re out of work and unsupported and facing financial hardship.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Maybe you\u2019ve experienced \u201cthe hell zone.\u201d I found myself having periodic dips during the first months of isolation and social distancing. I would go from \u201ceverything\u2019s going to be okay,\u201d to crying on the floor in a matter of hours. That has leveled out. Become less extreme. I\u2019ve come back to my grounding practices and been able to sleep a little more. Maybe you\u2019re still swinging on the pendulum. Maybe you\u2019re finding yourself numb. Maybe you\u2019re too tired to care. There is no wrong way to cope.<\/p>\n
Your grief, your trauma, your despair, your rage, your fury, your exhaustion are normal under the circumstances. It is tragic, but it is true. While many of our systemic issues have existed well before the pandemic, they are clearer and more inescapable than ever under present circumstances.<\/p>\n
So how do we cultivate resilience when we feel like we\u2019re falling apart? What do grounding practices look like? How can we build up our reserves to prevent this fallout in the first place?<\/p>\n
With no shortage of traumatic events and studies, science can offer us<\/a> some suggestions for how to come out of this stronger. Methods of processing and adaptation. Below are a couple of the ways you can relieve stress, build your reserves, and find the inner strength to become your most functional and resilient self.<\/p>\n It\u2019s vital to recognize the feelings that have come up for us and where they\u2019re coming from. Right now, they\u2019re probably coming from a lot of places. Taking the time to sort out today\u2019s cocktail of grief and stress may help manage them and limit burnout and breakdown.<\/p>\n Is it anxiety about catching COVID? Is it financial stress? Is it the unyielding grief of oppressive systems felt most prominently in Black communities? Is it physical illness? Is it a job layoff? Inconsiderate behavior coming from partners or roommates? Is it an old trauma response resurfacing? If we don\u2019t acknowledge those sticky feelings, it\u2019s easy to get them tangled. When I work with clients, I call this practice \u201cunraveling the emotional threads.\u201d<\/p>\n Understand the source to understand the feeling.<\/p>\n When studying children of troubled backgrounds, psychologists discovered a common thread<\/a> among the most resilient, the ones who thrived despite their circumstances at home. These children, more often than not, had an internal locus of control<\/a>, meaning they saw themselves as the architects of their own reality or the \u201corchestrators of their fate.\u201d<\/p>\n When we see ourselves as participants in our own stories rather than victims of circumstance, it gives us a sense of control. The pandemic has revealed all the places where we only had an illusion of control, so how can we possibly reconcile this? By focusing on what we can control: our reactions, our habits and our perspectives. Once we acknowledge the source of the stress, we can be more proactive about how we deal with it.<\/p>\n We can be so critical with ourselves, but taking a moment to stop the judgmental voice in our heads<\/a> can be really good for us. Maybe you\u2019re not as productive or creative as you were before COVID. Maybe you feel like you\u2019re falling behind. These are all stories we tell ourselves that don\u2019t reflect the reality of our present moment and will only further harm your mental state.<\/p>\n You can start by noticing the negative talk in your head<\/a>. Something like \u201cI\u2019m failing right now.\u201d Take a breath and be kind. \u201cI don\u2019t feel like I\u2019m succeeding the way I want to be, but that is okay in this moment. I won\u2019t feel this way forever.\u201d The negative talk is not going to get you out of the dark spiral of doom. But being nice to yourself, even when it feels gross and impossible or like you don\u2019t \u201cdeserve it\u201d might create the necessary space to pull you out.<\/p>\n Humans are social creatures. We need community. Isolation has been hard on that. While many people have been able to expand their pods of community, others have not. Do you have people you can check in with? Do you have people who will check on you? Maybe there is online support for the issues you\u2019re working through.<\/p>\n Some friends have been catching up via group video chat calls. I have been on two and hated them, so we all have to find the methods that work for us. Maybe you need more than a friend right now. This could be a great time to explore therapy, especially since many are offering virtual sessions. If you\u2019ve avoided therapy because of the stigma, I promise it\u2019s cool now. We all do it, and it\u2019s great.<\/p>\n Mental Health Resources for BIPOC<\/a><\/p>\n APA Resources and Crisis Lines<\/a><\/p>\n Maybe you\u2019re not quite ready to talk about your feelings. Try writing them instead. A consistent writing practice of expressing negative emotions can have beneficial health effects<\/a> both mentally and physically. It\u2019s an excellent supplement to talking to someone (like a friend or therapist) and can even serve as an alternative until you are ready to talk.<\/p>\n The ability of a group of people to thrive after a crisis often has strong ties to the meaning they create from that experience. At the end of a crisis, post-traumatic growth<\/a> rises as people ascribe meaning to their hardship, as Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankel writes about in Man\u2019s Search for Meaning<\/em>. When all is said and done, what have we learned, how have we grown in spite of and because of this hardship?<\/p>\n Maybe you can\u2019t make it to the gym, but you can still move! We have tons of body weight exercises you can do at home right here<\/a>, or simply go for a walk, bike ride, swim, or dance in your bedroom. The boost of oxygen and endorphins can keep that perspective clear and less likely to take you into doom town. Studies show regular physical exercise<\/a> is associated with emotional resilience for acute stress. While the stress of COVID and everything else is probably more chronic than acute, keeping up with cardio and incorporating some more restorative practices (like foam rolling, stretching, or yin yoga) can certainly help in cycles.<\/p>\n I honestly cannot stress this one enough. Last week, I was combative and sulky and weepy after consuming too much news. After 45 minutes of outdoor yoga, I felt like the dark cloud consuming me had lifted. Our minds are fragile ecosystems that require nourishment.<\/p>\n If you haven\u2019t tried it already, cultivating a yoga practice can be a helpful gateway into exploring mindfulness<\/a>. A yoga practice is more than the exercises (known as asana), but also includes meditation, breath awareness, as well as following ethical guidelines for living. There are yoga and meditation classes galore for you to try, but the core of what you need is to practice awareness of the present moment. Notice how you\u2019re sitting as you read this. The feelings in your body. Are you tensing up anywhere? Can you breathe a little deeper or more slowly? Can you feel the air against your skin? Your feet on the floor? Your seat in the chair?<\/p>\n A practice like this on its own might not feel like enough. We can only understand resilience in relation to stress. If our well constantly \u201cleaks,\u201d there is no way to stay emotionally satiated<\/a>. However, cultivating a mindfulness practice can help you identify the \u201cleaks\u201d and manage how you react to them.<\/p>\n The neuroscience backs up gratitude practices as a way to build resilience. Focusing your thoughts on the good and positive things in your life, helps foster a more uplifted state of mind by exercising your neurological wiring. This is not about \u201clight-washing\u201d your experience. This practice acknowledges the hardship but allows for the space to recognize what small pieces of joy we can claim today. Whether taking a moment in the morning or before bed, or making it a journaling practice, or taking a daily walk to connect with those bits of joy, there\u2019s a reason it\u2019s a core tenant for many religious and spiritual practices.<\/p>\n As Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Est\u00e9s reminds us in her letter \u201cWe Were Made For These Times,<\/a>\u201d nothing heals the heart like standing up and being there for others.<\/p>\n Of course, what\u2019s especially challenging here is our limited ability to help if we\u2019re not on the front lines. Action is what takes that anxious energy and helps us to process it, however, going out into the world now carries a certain amount of risk and may exacerbate that anxiety for some. It could be critically dangerous for others.<\/p>\n Some of us have been able to start venturing out with the proper precautions. From protests to volunteer organizations, there is no shortage of people giving back to their communities, demanding justice, and working towards a better tomorrow.<\/p>\n Maybe it\u2019s not safe for you to contribute in that way. That\u2019s okay! You can still make calls, write letters, send donations, raise awareness, and check in on the people in your life. Building your resilience can start by helping one person in any way you can. Maybe you write letters<\/a> to the elderly. Or donate to indigenous students<\/a>. Or make calls for justice<\/a>. There are ways to help regardless of your ability to leave the house.<\/p>\n The intergenerational effects of traumatic stress are rampant at the cellular level, as has been studied in Holocaust survivors and their children<\/a>. While many of us are doing okay, many others are not. This is also why cycles of poverty and abuse are so difficult to get out of, contributing to inter-generation and systemic poverty and child abuse<\/a> that are entrenched in the fabric of our society.<\/p>\n In order to develop resilience, children need to feel supported. According to Harvard Graduate School of Education, children who go on to thrive after traumatic events have at least one stable and supportive relationship with an adult<\/a>.<\/p>\nAcknowledge your feelings<\/h3>\n
See yourself as the architect of your reality<\/h3>\n
Show a little compassion<\/h3>\n
Talk about it<\/h3>\n
Write about it<\/h3>\n
Create meaning<\/h3>\n
Flex your muscles<\/h3>\n
Take breaks for mindfulness<\/h3>\n
Find moments for gratitude<\/h3>\n
Find ways to help<\/h3>\n
Long-term effects + children<\/h3>\n